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We were created to be loved

Sunday, November 09, 2014

If there is one thing that I know people struggle with, and I am estimating women probably more so than men, is self worth. Identity and self esteem issues are huge.  Self hatred and rejection issues often occur in childhood and remain with a person their entire life, unless they do something on purpose to deal with it. There can be many things and various life situations that leave a person dealing with emotional pain, anger, bitterness, regret, feelings of guilt, shame or remorse. All of these things, when left unhealed, can be internalised and turned into self rejection.

For many of us the Christian life has been more about avoiding sin, performing, and judgment than about knowing that God deeply loves us despite our successes or failures. Growing up in a family of shame often made us live under guilt and the need to perform to gain acceptance.

Even though God says He is for us and nothing can separate us from Him (Rom. 8:31-39), past experiences can make us feel differently.

In order to effectively deal with the spirit of rejection, we must acknowledge its influence in our lives.

Self rejection, self hatred, shame, insecurity, identity issues, weight issues, and many forms of physical disease are at the heart of depression.

Every addiction is tied to a direct connection with a need to feel loved.

The root of rejection comes most often from a lack of parental love, acceptance and validation.

Symptoms that might show up in a person with a spirit of rejection:


  • Fight for their ideas to gain self-esteem.

  • Rigid in their views.

  • Very independent, not open to other's ideas.

  • Difficult time living under authority structures.

  • People who feel rejected often keep a wall around them designed to protect themselves by living through a false self, or poser personality that is not their true personality. It is the personality they believe others will accept.

  • A person who has a hard time admitting they are wrong or receiving constructive criticism.

  • Performance orientation and drivenness.

  • A fixer who is eager to tell everybody else how they need to be doing things, but many times have little understanding or experience in such matters. Such a person attempts to be the Holy Spirit in other people's lives, where they have no authority or right to step in.


Jennifer LeClaire says: "You’ll have to reject rejection more than once, either on the home front, in the workplace, or among friends. Whether real or perceived, rejection doesn’t just give up. If it can’t turn you into a self-pity-toting performer, rejection will puff you up with pride to compensate for your insecurities or lead you to fabricate a protective personality to guard yourself from more rejection."

The truth is that we were created to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. Rejection is an anti-Christ spirit because it opposes the very nature that God created in us. Rejection starves a person from love and acceptance that they were designed to receive.

Loving another does not ensure unending happiness. Spouses disappoint us. Friends betray us. Children rebel against us. Family members die and leave us.

To love opens us up to loss, but to not love, to not seek to create those relationships that allow us to love, and possibly be loved in return, steals from us some of very Image-bearing that we hold has God's beloved.

Love means opening our hearts to pain and sorrow. But that's the point. The only alternative would be to live without love—to be alone forever. Yet deep within our souls we know we weren't created for such a lonely existence. This is why the pain of loneliness is often too much to bear. We naturally desire companionship, affection, fellowship.

Love is the only thing that is real and that love is our only purpose.

Therefore, let us love, for He first loved us.

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