Manage your expectations

My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. Psalm 62:5-6.

Expectations...we all have them.  We go through life with expectations; strong beliefs that certain things will happen. It could be getting married, having children, having lots of money or buying your own home.

Expectations act like a compass for us (Proverbs 4:23).  The difficulty with having expectations is that they sometimes turn into dissapointments.

For you to avoid dissapointments you have to disengage from what is going on around you and disengage from what is really at the core of your heart.

And unfortunately many of us begin to hide our expectations, or pretend we don’t have them so that we can avoid dissapointments. But that is not a truthful way to live life.

The just shall live by faith - Hebrews 10:38

We all  must face the truth in order to grow, mature and fulfill what God has for us.  And learning to manage your expectations is one of the keys to keeping your relationship (and self) healthy and joyful.

[adsenseyu1]Here are four ways to manage expectations: 

1. Face the facts. Denying the realities of a situation is never helpful. Some Christians, in order to project “faith” reject the realities of the situation they are facing. “I am not  sick.” “My house is not foreclosing.” “My job will be there.” Positive confession turns to
into denial of the facts of the ground. No where in the Bible is denial a virtue.  David never said of Goliath, "What giant?" He faced the facts and adjusted himself accordingly.

2. Unhealthy expectations grow an unhealthy soul.  Unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others creates discontentment and joyless living. Truth be told, not everyone who started with you will finish with you.  And that’s OK. Learn to adjust to God's plan as He increases or decreases your circle of friends/acquaintances,etc.  Ask God to replace unhealthy expectations in relationships with healthy ones in your life.

3.  Someone has concluded that 80 % of our expectations are assumed – never really expressed. When expectations are assumed, never expressed, when they are imposed, never negotiated, when they are ignored or unrealistic, there is suffering, trouble and sometimes failure in one way or another. You may not agree with another person’s expectations, but you do need to understand what they expect. Don’t guess-so, know-so! Ask and listen! Give the person the opportunity to express. On the other hand, you have expectations. Don’t withhold them. Don’t be silent. Express them.

4. The fact remains, some expectation are just that – unrealistically high. When confronted with expectations that are being placed upon you, you have three options. You can say; “I’ll do it to the best of my ability.” Or you can say; “I’m sorry, I just can’t do it,” and explain the limitations that prevent that. But, there is a third option.” You can say; “Can we negotiate?” Managing expectations well, often requires some negotiation. This is the third essential.  It must always be remembered, however, that some expectations are non negotiable. Certain legal, moral and biblical directives fall into this company.

When things don’t go according to our expectations, our response as daughters of a King should not be to panic or to question, neither should it be the time to try and assume control and make things happen the way we want them to.

Remember, what we give to the Lord is secured, what we hang on to is unsecured.

So, here is my encouragement to us all.  Let your expectations be of God.  Hope in God.  Believe in his Word.  Believe that the one who was raised from the dead will raise you as well.  Believe that greater is He in you than He that is in the world.  Believe that faithful is He who calls you who will also do it.  Believe it.  Expect it.  If your immediate expectation is not realised, keep at it.  Don’t give up.  God will do what He says He will do.  That is my expectation.  I encourage you to make it yours!